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- Protecting
the Gift : Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (And Parents Sane)
by Gavin De Becker
- Without offering a compendium of every conceivable danger,
Gavin identifies warning signals and real risks that are often
easy to spot once you know what to look for. Teens will appreciate
this book, as will parents. My teen read this first, and then
handed it to me, saying, "You should read this!"
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Comfort Zone for the Homeschooling
Dad
Dateline: 5/23/03
By Win and Bill Sweet
Jeff told us he was stunned when his family cheerfully announced
that they would like to do homeschooling. Questions came pouring
into his mind, beginning with "What's that?" His wife
and children age six and nine answered his questions with enthusiasm
and the assumption that, of course, he would love the idea. Not
wanting to be an ogre, he finally gave his support with a knot
in his stomach. His discomfort continued as he returned home
each evening and asked the children, "Well, what did you
do today?" The answer always seemed to be some variation
of, "We found all the wall receptacles that are controlled
by switches. Wow! there are lots of them." or "I got
dressed up in my rainbow silk cape and skirt and made up a play.
I just can't wait to show it to you, Daddy" or "We
practiced cursive writing by making the letters into little people.
It was fun." or "I made up a wonderful piece on the
piano. Listen, Daddy." And remarkably, his wife was always
smiling.
Jeff was in torment. How would his children ever make a living
as adults? How could his wife condone so much wasted time? Were
the children's minds sinking into quicksand?
Doing the right thing for one's children weighs heavily on
Dads. Traditionally not the primary caregivers, but at the same
time, feeling primarily responsible that the children turn out
okay, Dads often begin to quiver when Moms bring up homeschooling.
There's something so, well so untraditional and downright scary
about it. What are the guarantees that the children will, indeed,
turn out okay? Many Dads need and crave some real understanding
and solid justification for abandoning what most parents have
accepted without question-traditional schooling.
Let's look at the historical criteria for child-okayness.
In our culture, the best child is the one who responds as told.
Delving into the history of child rearing, we discovered Alice
Miller, a Swiss psychiatrist. She researched child rearing dogma
of the western world from the last three centuries and found
that most ideas were spawned by German clergy and doctors. Spanking,
beating, and emotional humiliation were inflicted on children
to stamp out their individuality, spontaneity, and creativity.
Literally, children were to be seen and not heard. The most valued
quality was blind obedience.
John Taylor Gatto has done a brilliant
work in researching the origins of the American school system
and reveals that our present school system was imported into
the United States from, guess where? Yes, Germany. We have talked
with many senior citizens who relate the common theme in their
school experience of suffering switches across backs and hands,
wearing dunce caps, and similar treatment that we consider cruel
today. Even though the extremes have dropped off over time, there
is still a tendency in the culture toward admiration of blind
obedience, "not getting out of line," and scholastic
achievement according to the adults' agenda.
With these guidelines so deeply ingrained in consciousness
as right, it is no wonder that Dads, who are expected to keep
the family on track, are squeamish embarking on a way that sounds
so irresponsible. Maybe homeschooling would abort the children's
chance for a good life!
When Jeff discovered the origins and intentions of the historically
accepted child rearing methods practiced in our country, he realized
that just doing what is normal in the culture may not, in fact,
provide the best avenues for his children to reach their full
potential. The next step for Jeff came with new understanding
of the true nature and development of children. He was shocked
to learn that the culture pushes children into reading and other
academics far sooner than their brains and eyes are ready. Furthermore,
children naturally learn best in an atmosphere of play, body
movement, and fun; however, academics are not generally presented
in this kind of environment, rather, in an environment of stress.
The puzzle was taking shape for Jeff as he realized that most
job opportunities in the future will be very different from those
of the past. Earning a living in the future will not be guaranteed
when the applicant demonstrates only an assembly line mentality
and training. As they enter their adult world, today's children
will need the ability to think creatively "out of the box,"
and to be energetic partners, not blind followers. Jeff pondered
the family's independent routine and realized the children were
using their imagination, inventiveness, and creativity and were,
in fact, developing strong skills that would serve them well
in tomorrow's world. Then Jeff put the last piece of the puzzle
in place: the homeschooling lifestyle perfectly supports the
freedom and individual expression that are essential as his children
prepare for their adult lives. Now Jeff has found his comfort
zone.
Win and Bill Sweet, who are parents and grandparents, started
homeschooling their children in 1968 and have carried the tradition
to include the grandchildren. They are authors of the award-winning
book, Living Joyfully with Children, published by Acropolis Books.
The Education Source chose the book for their 1998 "Top
Ten Books" for parents list and Joseph
Chilton Pearce, world-renowned author and lecturer, endorses
the book as, "a gem in every respect." For over twenty
years Win and Bill have conducted parenting and relationship
workshops and have served as mentors to many families. They can
be contacted through their website: www.sweetjoy.com.
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- Books To Help You Get Started Homeschooling
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- Living Joyfully With Children
by Sweet, Win & Bill
I met these Milpitas authors at the Home=Education Conference.
A heartfelt guidebook on having a joyful and fulfilling life
with your children. 1997 Paperback
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The Unschooling Handbook : How to Use the Whole World
As Your Child's Classroom
by Mary Griffith
Unschooling, a homeschooling method based on the belief that
kids learn best when allowed to pursue their natural curiosities
and interests, is practiced by 10 to 15 percent of the estimated
1.5 million homeschoolers in the United States.
- The Courage to Raise Good Men
by Olga Silverstein
- If mothers trusted their abilities to nurture their sons,
to help them become kinder, gentler people, the world would be
a better place, Silverstein argues.
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