Milpitas Mom's Favorite Jokes

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Amazing Facts
Family Life
Holiday Jokes

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Computer Language For Non-Computer Users

 Log On

Makin' the wood stove hotter.

 Log Off

Don't add any more wood.


Keep an eye on the wood stove.


Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

 Mega Hertz

When yer not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes).

 Floppy Disk

Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood.

 Disk Operating System

The equipment the Doc uses when you have a floppy disk.


The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.

 Hard Drive

Gettin' home in mud season.


What you wish the mail was in mud season.


What to shut when it's 50 degrees, and that's real cold in Milpitas!


What you need for black fly season.


What black flies do.


What to munch on.

 Micro Chip

What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.


Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.


What you did to the hay fields.

 Dot Matrix

John Matrix's wife.


Someone who can't write in cursive.

 Lap Top

Where little kids feel comfy.


Where you hang your keys.


Them plastic eatin' utensils.


One of them fancy imported cars.


What eats the horses' grain in the barn.

 Main Frame

The part of the barn that holds the roof up.


Fancy wine.


C'mon in!

 Random Access Memory

When you suddenly can't remember how much that new rifle costs when your wife asks.


Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.


If you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'.


What's on the TV when TCI has reception.


The place in the back where they sell retirement accounts.