Everyday Maxims

Maxims

Amazing Facts

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Mental backup in progress – Do Not Disturb!

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Mind Like A Steel Trap – Rusty And Illegal In 37 States.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

Bullet for Everyday Maxims For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Bullet for Everyday Maxims OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

Bullet for Everyday Maxims Corduroy pillows: They’re making headlines!

Bullet for Everyday Maxims All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

A Milpitas Mom’s Favorite Joke.

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