Milpitas Mom's Favorite Jokes
A Milpitan walked in to The Park Victoria Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Anthony asks "What's up?"
The Milpitan proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome.
"ROME?!" Anthony says, "Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You'd be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?"
"We're taking TWA," the Milpitan replies.
"TWA?!" yells Anthony. "They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late! So where you staying in Rome?"
The Milpitan says "We'll be at the downtown International Marriot."
"That DUMP?!" says Anthony. "That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced! So whatcha doing when you get there?"
The Milpitan says "We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope."
"HA! That's rich!" laughs Anthony. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going to need it!"
A month later, the Milpitan comes in for his regular haircut. Anthony says, "Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!"
"No, quite the opposite" explained the Milpitan. "Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot!"
"Hmmm," Anthony says, "Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described."
"No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling. It's the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!"
"Well," Anthony mumbles, "I KNOW you didn't get to see the Pope!"
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."
Impressed, Anthony asks, "Tell me, please! What'd he say?"
"Oh, not much really. Just "Where'd you get that awful haircut?"
[The Park Victoria Barber Shop gives excellent men's haircuts and was only picked on for this joke because they are good sports and long-time businessmen here in Milpitas. Photo taken by Mel Rose and used with his, and their, permission. The Park Victoria Barber Shop is located on the south side of the Ocean Market at Park Victoria and Calaveras Blvd.]