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A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided
the answer: "Where do pets come from?"
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you
walked with us every day. Now we do not see you anymore. We are
lonesome here and it is difficult for us to remember how much
you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for
you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my
love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see
me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may
be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love
you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal
was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals
in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new
animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be
a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and
loved them. And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord
and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride.
They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are
worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are
loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion
who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The
companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will
know that they are not always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a
companion to Adam and Eve. And Cat would not obey them. And when
Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they
were not the supreme beings. And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't give a damn one way or the other.