Milpitas Mom's Favorite Jokes

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The Art Sold, but ...
An artist asked the Yolette, curator at the Community Art and History Museums, if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

Cultural Differences Explained
This is to help my Asian American and Chicano friends better understand the differences among Anglo cultural groups.

Disciplining Silicon Valley Kids
When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son's room, he has his own color TV, telephone, computer, and CD player.

Fire at the Semiconductor Plant
From the distance a long siren was heard and another fire truck came into sight. It was a local volunteer fire company composed of a couple of fire fighters, Sparky, Elvis Presley, the webmaster and the President of the Historical Society.

Hills Meet Their Fate In Milpitas
Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Silicon Valley, California; as it happens, in Milpitas.

How Milpitans Do It
Finding Good Deals in Milpitas: Coke 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

Laughing in the Dark
Unlike the rest of the country, our people are bright and our lights are dim.

How to Pronounce This Place
MIL-pit-as; Mil-pit-ASS; Mil-PEET-us?

Litter Problem Solved
A few years ago, the City of Milpitas had a litter problem.

Milk With A Little Coffee In It
Customer: I'd like a milk with some coffee in it.

Milpitan Vacations In Rome
A Milpitan walked in to The Park Victoria Barber Shop for his regular haircut.

Milpitas Cowboy's Guide to Life
Don't squat with your spurs on.

Noah Tries To Build Ark in Milpitas
Noah: "I did my best. But there were big problems. First I had to get a Milpitas City building permit for the Ark construction project, and your plans didn't meet code.

Ole and Lena's bull took sick and died
... so they needed to go to the auction to buy a new one.

Pie Throwing Trend in Milpitas
"... java virtual machine ..." - WHAM - call the dry cleaners.

Prosecutor's First Witness
A Milpitas prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand in a trial.

Puttin' On The Hitz
Have you seen the well to do? Up and down Calaveras Avenue?

Signs Around Milpitas
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

Siren Sounds
Shoe thief tries to exchange the uncomfortable shoes at Mervyns, and more incredible crimes.

There Are No Fish Under The Ice!
A blonde woman notices the popularity of ice fishing in Milpitas, and decides to try it for herself.

This Sound Like Your City Council?
"When any principle, law, tenet, probability, happening, ..."

You Know You Live in Milpitas When...
You make $120,000 a year, but can't find a place to live.