Milpitas Mom's Favorite Jokes

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Holiday Jokes

14 Days of Homeschooling
On the first day of homeschool my neighbor said to me ...

An Engineer Calculates Santa's Trip
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with. This works out to 822.6 visits per second.

Christmas Carole Quiz
Heavenly beings at extreme altitudes my associates and I perceived auditory stimulus emanating from.

Christmas Riddles
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?

Christmas Riddles, Puns and Jokes
Why are Christmas trees like people who can't knit? They both drop their needles.

Dear Santa, I've been a good Mom all year
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable?

Fruit Cake Recipe
Beat one cup of butter in that large, fluffy bowl. Now page has lots of real fruit cake recipe links and more.

How We Know Santa's Reindeer Are Female
Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

I Think Santa Claus is a Woman
I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!

If Martha and Erma Wrote Each Other
Don't use Fruity Pebbles as a substitute in that Rice Krispie snowball recipe. -Erma

Letter From Santa
Restructuring decisions at the North Pole, with ASCII illustrations.

Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar
Dec. 4: Repaint First Presbyterian Church ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.

Night Before Christmas For Mom
T'was the night before Christmas, in a homeschooling abode.

Planning the Company Holiday Party
I'm happy to inform you that the office Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue.

Rudolf, The Red
An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.

Santa's Prayer
I can do all these things, Lord, only through You, I just need your blessing, then it's easy to do.

Santa's Workshop Bought By Bill Gates
After centuries of a life that was simple and spare, St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire.

The turkey shot out of the oven
And rocketed into the air, it knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair.

Twas The Month After Christmas
Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

Ways to Confuse Trick-or-Treaters
Instead of candy, give away colored eggs.

Web Addiction Holiday Sing Along
Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin', From my mouth, drool is glist'nin', I'm happy although my boss let me go ­ Happily addicted to the Web.